Timshel
by eonsofmemories
Summary: "And death is at your doorstep, and it will steal your innocence. But it will not steal your substance." KICK. SAD ONE-SHOT. Rated T.


**Hey everyone! For all my indian peeps out there, HAPPY DIWALI! May you all your lives be filled with prosperity, joy, and utmost happiness. :)  
Which brings me to... whoa. I think it's been more than a year since I've joined fanfiction... so freaking cool. I literally can't explain how much you guys rule, it always brings a smile to my face whenever you guys tweet, review, or instagram me, just plain talk to me. I could honestly not be getting so far with Hearts United and my other stories without you guys. Y'all make me so happy.**

**So, in honour of this one year on fanfiction thing, I've decided to attempt writing a one-shot - it's a sad one, pretty nervous since this IS my first one, so I hope you guys like it! :) Do review and let me know what you think!**

**If you want to tweet me about how awesome this one shot is.. or how horribly awful it is, or you want to just plain reach me - iloveoliviaxo .**

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* * *

_and death is at your doorstep  
and it will steal your innocence  
but it will not steal your substance_

* * *

Death. It had always been with him. An unwanted presence, a shadow that never loosened its hold.

Death. It was here.

Jack sat still, frozen, looking straight at her. The slight turn of the corners of her lips, the slant of her eyes. A strand of hair falling across her eyes, as always. She was frozen too. But unlike him, she would never have to come alive again.

Because she couldn't.

"Jack."

The word was accompanied by a slight pressure on his shoulder. Jack flinched at the sudden touch, but sat unmoved. Milton kept the bottle of water beside him and watched as Jack slowly reached out and downed the bottle in one go, his actions mechanical. Jack had in a sense, truly turned into the stone he had always pretended to be. The facade that they had all been able to see through. The pretence that she had been able to pull away from him.

A stone that was cracked in too many areas, in too many ways.

Jack willed the chilled water to cool his burning insides, to soak away some of the agony, to wash away some of the pain. Only some, because he would always carry a void with him. Milton sat down beside him, facing her. Kim's portrait stood proud, the smile intact. Jack smirked, his lips curving into the shape that had always been second nature, but his eyes remained cold, emotionless. Everything, everyone seemed to be trying to blur the memory of this.

But they never possibly could.

* * *

"Jack?"

She always stretched out the "a", making his name sound like a purr. Jack chuckled and turned to his wife, sitting on the kitchen counter, clad only in a shirt. It was strange how she managed to still look like an innocent, sweet child. He walked to her and put his arms around her as she did the same around his neck.

"I'm pregnant."

She popped out the words, then pursed her lips, eyebrows lifted, waiting for his reaction. Jack missed a breath as he tried to register the words she had just spoken to him.

"Are you sure?"

Kim rolled her eyes at him, her arms shifting to his shoulders, loosening their hold.

"Of course I am! What kind of ques-"

Any further words were wiped clean on their way from her brain to her mouth as Jack swooped in to kiss his wife soundly, lifting her off the table in his present euphoria. He let out a chuckle as Kim wrapped her legs around his hips and broke apart, her face flushed. He gladly sighed in content.

"I'm so happy, I'm a little scared," said Jack, touching her forehead with his, their noses brushing. Kim pulled back to look at him and softly peck his lips once more.

"Don't be. My husband isn't one to be afraid.. well maybe except for clowns," She teased.  
Jack barely got his smile in check when she declared, "After all, you are wedded to Kimberly Anne Crawford Leo Anderson!" Squeals of laughter resound in the kitchen as Kim struggled in her husband's arms as he nipped every part of her bare skin he could get to, ignoring her protests.

* * *

hhhhhhh

"Kim, look at me, dammit!"

He held her hand, running alongside the stretcher, his mind zoning out the rush that swirled around him, only focusing on his wife's pale face, the hand that he wasn't holding splayed on her swollen belly, and drops of perspiration were resting in beads on her forehead, her cheekbones highlighted in the paleness of her face.

He tried so hard not to notice the red that seeped into the sides of her clothes. The fall had been so sudden, and he hadn't been able to reach her in time. It was his fault, this was all his fault! The guilt gnawed at him, now at its worst.

"Kim! Kim, open your eyes," His words seemed garbled up to him, his throat parched, fear running like an icy whisper thorugh his bones. He raised his eyes to see the doctor giving instructions to nurses, the corridor being cleared as they made their way through it. The operating theatre loomed near, at the end of their path. A sudden touch of his wrist made him look down.

Kim was looking up at him. The doctor was telling him to let go, but Jack refused to register his words. He didn't care what anyone had to say, he would always stay by her side, always. Her eyes were wide in her gaunt face, filled with tears streaming down like a waterfall. But the clarity in those tears was frightening. She blinked once, and Jack leaned closer, still keeping up with the gliding stretcher down the hall as his wife was lain on a new stretcher.

"If they... ask you to choose," Kim started off, her voice cracking and laced with the utmost pain, "you have to choose our daughter." Jack jerked up in shock, blood rushing through his veins, as if it they had been stagnant for too long and his dry eyes blurred with moisture. He quickly blinked, clearing his glossy eyes and leaned down, speaking in a hurried manner.

"Sshhh, Kim, don't worry - nothing will happen to you." He assured her. And it was the truth - even if the whole world turned upside down, he would do anything. Anything. But nothing would happen to her. They would find a way together out of this. The hold on his wrist tightened, earning a surprised reaction from Jack.

"Promise me, Jack. You will choose her."

Seemingly, time was slowing down and Jack closed his eyes. Their life, their love, their memories flashed through, embedded forever. He opened them as they all came to a stop. The doctor repeatedly asked him to stand back. But Kim's eyes never left his face. He bent down, until his face was buried in her neck.

"I promise," He whispered into her ear. He lifted his head and pressed his lips against her cold, almost lifeless ones.

It seemed too final, like a final end. But he was sure he heard "I love you" whispered to him before she was finally taken away.

* * *

jfjdg

Milton looked up as Jerry appeared beside him, indicating for him to get up with a jerk of his head. Milton noted how Jerry hadn't done something stupid, or rather said anything out of the ordinary. The loss of their friend was a grave matter. You could always count on Jerry to be serious when needed.

Jerry had disappeared into his room, only to emerge hours later - red-eyed and changed, and change into a person Milton had never thought him to be - responsible, mature, and a sensible guy. Jerry was actually the one who had handled Jack enough to bring him home from the hospital.

"And where's..." Milton left the question incomplete.

Jerry gave a wry smile, as if the very action hurt him. "We have to decide on a name. At least, Jack should. And she's with Rudy."

"Where's Rudy?" Both the boys, or rather men now, jumped at the quiet voice behind them and turned to look at Jack standing behind them, his face as inexpressive as before. He seemed almost drunk in his sorrow. Jerry silently turned and began walking, his two best friends following. They found their sensei/mentor/confidante/friend/father-like figure sitting with a little wrapped bundle in his arms, singing softly. Who knew Rudy was the emotional and singing type? He looked up and smiled upon seeing his prized pupils.

"Do you want to go to Papa?" He said to the baby in his arms softly. He looked at his student and held his child out to him. Milton watched as Jack stiffened momentarily before awkwardly raising his arms, his shoulders still slack. He took his baby from Rudy's arms, holding her carefully and walking to the window, from which a cool breeze and the golden light of sunset poured through.

Rudy looked at his student's back and watched as he slowly straightened,the soft light playing on his tired features. He turned to his other students, who were also looking at the new father and walked to them. With a slight squeeze on Milton's arms and a nod to Jerry, he left. One more moment she would've stayed there, and she wouldn't be able to essay the role of a sensei anymore.

Jerry walked up to his brother and stood beside him. Jack was looking at his child in an intent manner, almost inspecting her. He thought that he hadn't really seen her, only maybe noticed this little thing in the last few days. Jerry hesitantly laid a hand on the middle of the bundle of wraps.

"How do you think she knew, Jerry? That it would be a girl. That should be - "

Jerry watched the little girl in Jack's arms for a moment. Her eyes were a brilliant, deep brown, big in her tiny face. Just like her mother. Jerry moved his hand to his brother's fore-arm, gripping him, trying to give him all the strength he needed.

"She was Kim." Simple as that. Jack looked up at him and Jerry struggled to look back, the naked anguish plain to see. Milton appeared behind him, looking over Jack's shoulder as the baby started to squirm and move a little in his arms. All three men moved their gaze to the little child.

"What should we name her?" Milton asked quietly. "Did you two ever..."

Jack was quiet for a minute. "She did, of course." There was a ghost of a smile in his voice, and that surprised him. He hadn't smiled once since Kim...

"Kim. We'll name her Kim." Milton and Jerry looked at each other after they declared the same, flanked on either side of their dear friend as he looked down at his daughter, who was yawning in her drowsiness.

"I just hope she won't do that whole 'boom goes the dynamite' thing when she grows up." Jack chuckled at Jerry's attempt to humour and was awarded with a wide-eyed stare. He raised his sleeping daughter a little and bent down towards her to kiss her forehead.

"Oh she will. I'll teach her."

* * *

_AS BROTHERS: _

_We will stand and we'll hold your hand _

* * *

**Note: This was inspired by the song Timshel by Mumford & Sons. Timshel is a Hebrew word, meaning "thou shalt" **

**Hearts United readers, sorry, I've been lazy. Half a chapter written. **

**Do tell me what you thought about this. **


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